DEMPSEY TOPS FULHAM'S PREMIER LEAGUE GOALSCORING LIST

DEMPSEY TOPS FULHAM'S PREMIER LEAGUE GOALSCORING LIST

Wednesday 27th April 2011 (Premier League)

 

Fulham 3 (Dempsey 15, 48, Hangeland 65) Bolton Wanderers 0

Attendance: 23,222

 

A game that, for all intents and purposes, was a bit of a dead rubber ended up being a comfortable victory for Fulham, with goals from Clint Dempsey and Brede Hangeland securing another season in the Premier League for Fulham.

On an individual level, Dempsey's brace made him Fulham's top Premier League goalscorer, taking him past compatriot Brian McBride's and Frenchman Steed Malbranque's 32 strikes for the Cottagers. The American was not the only one to impress, from what I could see, with Eidar Gudjohnsson coming close on a couple of occasions.

 

With live European Champions' League footbal on terrestrial television and Bolton's season all but over, I was surprised that the crowd was as high as it was, though the reduced price if £5 for juniors may have boosted the attendance.

 

As with the F.A. Cup tie between the two sides, the visit of Lee Chung Yong to Craven Cottage attracted a lot of South Korean fans of all ages. Once again, they were unable to celebrate him scoring, though I would have liked to have seen the reaction if he had been able to hit the back of the net.

 

There were no major problems today, apart from the presence of what looked like a doggy-doo on the steps before the game, probably from one of the sniffer dogs that are used to check for suspect packages, though it could well have been a reminder that the fox that meandered across the pitch in the pre-season friendly against Werder Bremen in sunny, pre-season August is still around.

 

There are still issues that need to be addressed by management though. Not for the first time, some supporters asked to visit the club shop during the game, only to find that there's no access to the Stevenage Road stand from the Putney stand, an irritating inconvenience if they can't visit the shop after the game. This restriction is even more frustrating when one considers the amount of tourists that buy tickets for the Putney Stand, as I'm sure it must be disappointing to find that you can't leave with a souvenir of, possibly, your only trip to the Cottage.

The other thing is the Michael Jackson statue. Not surprisingly, the chairman's decision to erect this monument has created a lot of media attention and supporters are naturally keen to see what all the fuss is about. The problem is that unless you pass through the gate from the Putney Stand to the Riverside Stand just as it is opened, 10 or 15 minutes after the final whistle, you cannot get to see the statue. Again, for the casual supporter, this is very frustrating.

 

Anyway, the next game is against Liverpool, the match I've been waiting for all season. Apart from a victory for the Reds, all I'm hoping for is that the supporters are well-behaved and good-natured.

KING OF POP UNVEILED AT THE COTTAGE

KING OF POP UNVEILED AT THE COTTAGE

Sunday 3rd April 2011 (Premier League)

 

Fulham 3 (Zamora 23, 28, Etuhu 72) Blackpool 0

Attendance: 25,692

The writer—all dressed up and ready to go home—in

front of the Michael Jackson statue at Craven Cottage.

                                                             © Stephen Taylor

I had been looking forward to Blackpool's visit to Craven Cottage all season, as their style of play, eccentric manager and enthusiastic supporters have been a refreshing addition to the Premier League this season. However, it was always going to be remembered for a non-footballing event that took place 90 minutes before a ball was kicked, in front of a few selected spectators.

 

The chairman had announced a few weeks before the game that a statue of Michael Jackson would be unveiled before the game against Blackpool to commemorate the "King of Pop." Jackson had attended a game at the Cottage, a 2-0 victory against Wigan Athletic in 1999, when both sides were in English football's second tier.

 

As far as I know, Jacko did not leave SW6 on that spring day 12 years ago with a burning love for the Cottagers, but it appears that the chairman had commissioned a statue of Jackson after the pop star's untimely death at the age of 50 in 2009, and had planned to display it in Harrod's. However, as the world-famous department store was sold last year, he decided to put it on show at his only remaining high-profile public property--Craven Cottage.

 

Before the game, all stewards were told not to comment on the statue, should any fans ask their opinion of it, just in case the questioner happened to be a journalist looking for a quote from a "representative" of the club. As most of us hadn't seen the monument before taking up our positions, there was little we could "Say, Say, Say" about it anyway. As it happened, no one asked me about the statue at all, though some other stewards got some enquiries.

 

After the minor chaos of Blackburn four weeks ago, I was hoping for a relatively quiet afternoon and, thanks to the good-natured away supporters, there wasn't much to deal with, bar the usual innocent drinkers trying to bring their booze into the stand. The Seasiders' fans were the best away supporter I've encountered this season, as they were really well-behaved, remained seated for most of the game and were in party mood, with several in fancy dress. I saw Batman and Robin, Robocop and an unidentified cartoon character, though the Fulham fans trumped them when someone dressed up as Michael Jackson took an extended bow as he left the Hammersmith End just before the final whistle.

 

On the field, Blackpool earned a routine victory with a couple of goals from Bobby Zamora, both of which were scored at my end, and a scrambled goal from Dickson Etuhu in the second half. It wasn't a bad game and was a much-needed win for Fulham at this stage of the season.

 

After the game, I walked round to our new statue to discover a colour figure that was not quite what I had been expecting. For me, there's something about a colour statue that can never be tasteful, unless it's a six-inch model of a Star Wars character, not something that towers over the River Thames. The statue will definitely attract its fair share of curious onlookers, and Fulham might even sell some tickets on that basis but, as far as I'm concerned, the best thing about Michael Jackson's presence at the Cottage is that he has been positioned as far as possible from the monument to a true Fulham great that has stood outside the ground's main entrance on Stevenage Road since 18th October 2008 - the late, great Johnny Haynes.

 

As me and some other stewards made our way to sign out at the Bridge Academy, the Blackpool bus was waiting to leave with, apparently, Ian Holloway placing an order for pizzas on the jouney back to the northwest. Somehow, I can't imagine Arsene Wenger doing the same thing for his Arsenal players.

The Blackpool players bus waits outside Craven Cottage.

                                                                                                  © Stephen Taylor

BLACKBURN KEEP ME BUSY

BLACKBURN KEEP ME BUSY

Saturday 5th March 2011 (Premier League)

Fulham 3 (Duff 37, 59, Zamora [pen] 89) Blackburn Rovers 2 (Hanley 45+1, Hoilett 65)Attendance: 25,687

                                                                              © Stephen Taylor

On paper, this fixture seemed innocuous enough. Two mid-table teams doing battle in front of supporters who have no history of hooliganism or rowdy behaviour.

How wrong could that be! There was a fight, a group of drunken fans, a Japanese man with a beer and a Norwegian filming with a professional-looking video camera.

The game was not too bad either. Five goals, Damien Duff's first brace in the Premier League since December 1997, a disputed penalty and a red card after the final whistle.

My new placement is at P3/P4 in the Putney End, so I'm very happy with that position, though it's certainly not the easy option. Today, there were a few large parties, all of whom were from overseas.

First, there was the Northern State University's women's soccer team. It turns out that this is a college based in Aberdeen, South Dakota, who decided to include a trip to Craven Cottage in their itinerary.

Next, there was a bunch of young students from Norway, kept in check by their long-suffering teacher.

Finally, about 10 minutes into the game, a bunch of Scandinavians (I think they were from Norway) who had clearly spent quite some time in the pub for several pre-match beers. They were generally well-behaved, though there always seemed to be one of them sitting on the steps, which is not allowed. I'm pretty sure that the problem lay with a couple of Blackburn fans who had jumped in two of their seats before they turned up, thus causing the overflow.

Then, one of the other stewards alerted me to someone drinking a beer in the stand. When he tried to point out who it was, I couldn't spot the offending boozer, but if he'd have said it was the Japanese guy I'd have got him straight away. If that wasn't enough, another steward alerted me to someone smoking in the stand. Not surprisingly, it was one of the drunken Scandinavians, though he was OK about putting out the offending cigarette. That wasn't the end of it though, as one of his mates sparked up a tab, though my co-vomitary steward went and sorted it out.

Finally, it was pointed out to me that one of the Norwegians had a smart-looking video camera, complete with proper microphone and everything. As he was sat in the middle of a row, I decided to wait 10 minutes until half-time before telling him that video filming is not permitted in the stadium. And then Fulham scored.

As Duff cut in from the right to fire past Paul Robinson, most of the Putney End rose to celebrate Fulham taking the lead, while our friend with the camera proceeded to hold his video camera up high and film the celebrations. As the Control Room will have had a massive eyeful of this, I had to step in and ask him politely to stop filming, which he did immediately. At least he got 36 minutes of action and a goal to take back to Norway with him.

For the first time this season, I saw a fight in the Putney End. Midway through the second half, I noticed that some of the youngsters supporting Fulham started baiting the Blackburn fans, though it didn't seem to come to anything. However, I think it was shortly after Blackburn equalised for the second time in the 65th minute, but there was a few scuffles and punches thrown in the middle of the Blackburn section, requiring the attention of quite a few stewards, before the police ejected four or five supporters.

OUT OF THE CUP

OUT OF THE CUP

Sunday 20th February 2011 (F.A. Cup Fifth Round)

Fulham 0 Bolton Wanderers 1 (Klasnic 19)

Attendance: 19,571

Today, I worked in two positions, starting at pitchside and then being moved to a vomitory. Though it's better than the undercroft, pitchside is still pretty grim, as you can't see any of the game, as you spend the game facing the crowd, and there's very little opportunity to interact with supporters.

The only thing that is interesting about the job is that you get up close and personal with the players as they warm up. Today, I was impressed that the Bolton goalkeeper, Jussi Jaaskelainen, who was not playing in this game, took time to pose for photographs with Bolton supporters who were sitting in the first couple of rows.

One of the other Bolton players had his own fan club. Chung Yong Lee, and there were plenty of visitors from South Korea at the Cottage.

Personally, I was one of the few stewards who was pleased that Fulham lost today, as I'm happy to work at Premier League games only, so I can keep my weekends clear occasionally. Also, I don't fancy the idea of working at a cup replay that goes to extra-time and penalties.

BLAME IT ON TORRES!

BLAME IT ON TORRES!

Wednesday 2nd February 2011 (Premier League)

© Stephen Taylor

Fulham 1 (Duff) Newcastle United 0

Attendance: 25,620

A game of two halves for me tonight! When I signed in before the game tonight, it was a case of Shock! Horror! My fears after being assigned to the Undercroft Exit on Sunday were realised.

It seems that all stewards had been allocated fixed positions on match days, based on the random selections made on Sunday afternoon, which means that I face the "Hell" of being a glorified toilet attendant with no chance of seeing any football for the rest of the season.

Of course, that's not going to happen as I'd rather quit than be consigned to this Room 101, though my protestations to one of my supervisors, before the game fell on deaf ears.

 

As I took my place underneath the stand, all I could think about was how I was going to word my letter of complaint, though the friendly Newcastle fans were making life in the underworld a little easier to stomach. Another supporter had come all the way from Canada and told me about waking up early in the morning to watch Premier League games every weekend. For no other reason than that, I hoped that he would see a decent game--even if I was not going to be able to!

 

With nothing much to do, I noticed that the "Exit" sign I was stewarding was not actually an exit but an emergency exit, though, not surprisingly, more than a few fans thought it was an actual exit.

 

Also, the disabled toilet was locked, with instructions given that we had to go to the first aid room and get the key if anyone needed to use the disabled facilities. One guy claimed that he'd left his disabled sticker in the car, though he didn't look too disabled to me. Nevertheless, I got the key, locked up and returned the key. When I saw a couple with a baby, I got the key again and wondered why I was having trouble getting in the disabled toilet when, much to my surprise, a man on crutches opened the door and, quite rightly, gave me a bit of abuse. Clearly, I hadn't locked the door properly! Not to worry, though I made certain to lock it securely that time.

 

As I was facing up to the prospect of spending another 45 minutes in the undercroft, there was a change of fortune. Because of some problem, they needed someone in vomitory P2, so I was sent there for the second half.

 

Talk about a game of two halves! It was great to be back in a vomitory after a game and a half in the undercroft and two games at pitch side. I arrived just in time to see a rendition of "Everybody Needs Somebody" by Jake and Elroy from "The All-New Original Tribute to The Blues Brothers," that will open at the New Wimbledon Theatre on 22nd February. They even got Billy the Badger moving on the touchline, though I'm not quite sure about the Moonwalk he was attempting in his big boots.

 

As I was positioned in the "sensible" end of the Putney End, most fans remained seated, so the rest of the game went off without incident, except for Damian Duff's winning goal on 67 minutes, which I was even able to see, which was probably the only goal I've seen at Craven Cottage since Peterborough's couple in the F.A. Cup Third Round.

 

Next time, Chelsea are the visitors so I'm hoping for another vomitory position, so I can get a good view of Fernando Torres for the first time ever, sadly in a Chelsea shirt rather than the red of Liverpool.

 

As we were sweeping the stand after the game, I found a great banner that had been left behind by an away fan, which just about summed up the Geordie fans' feelings about the departure of Andy Carroll to Liverpool for £35 million a couple of days before. It simply said, "Blame Torres."

SEEN AND NOT HEARD

SEEN AND NOT HEARD

Sunday 30th January 2011 (F.A. Cup Fourth Round)

Fulham 4 (Murphy (pen.) 11, Murphy (pen.) 14, Hangeland 23, Dembele 45+3) Tottenham Hotspur 0

Attendance: 21,829

Having missed the last home game against Stoke City to attend my brother-in-law's funeral, I returned to Craven Cottage to find a change in staff deployment procedures that were, to put it mildly, a shambles, with a new system in place that drastically slowed down the signing-in process that all stewards have to do before each game, meaning that we were randomly allocated our positions before heading to the Cottage.

 

Unfortunately, I got lumbered with the "Undercroft Exit" position, a placement under the stand across from the Police Room which meant that I could not see anything of the game whatsoever and, worst of all, could hear the fans sitting above me in the Putney End, oohing and aahing at the ebb and flow of the game, leaving me to only guess what was happening on the pitch.

Before the game, I was able to chat to a few of the fans, and even saw one who I'm pretty sure was vaguely famous. One North American supporter handed in a wallet that he found, which was good of him, so I immediately took it to my supervisor, earning me some bonus points that, hopefully, would get me back in a vomitory for the next game.

Another foreign fan, this time from Norway, turned up with a huge smoked salmon for compatriot and Fulham defender Brede Hangeland and asked me if he could get it to him. As he was sitting near the player's tunnel, I suggested he ask one of the stewards near the tunnel to see if they could get it to Fulham's favourite Norwegian. The salmon wasn't the only non-human in the stand today, as I spotted a mouse dashing across the undercroft at one point.

 

Once the game kicked off, I noticed some water dripping through from the stand above. Suspecting it was just someone's spilled drink, I thought I should report it, just to be on the safe side, which meant I used the Emergency Phones for the first time. As it happened, it was just a spilled drink.

 

In the event, working in the undercroft wasn't quite as bad as I feared, though I wouldn't want to do it too often in the future.

FULHAM BATTER POSH

FULHAM BATTER POSH

Saturday 8th January 2011 (F.A. Cup Third Round)

Fulham 6 (Kamara 32, 59, 76, Etuhu 45+1, Gera 66, Greening 89) Peterborough United 2 (Tomlin 71, McCann [pen.] 86)

Attendance: 15,936

This being the F.A. Cup, the restrictions on away supporters were much more relaxed that for Premier League games, resulting in about 5,000 Peterborough fans packed behind the Putney end goal.

 

They were generally well-behaved, though some of them were trying to show off their bravado by insisting on standing up during the game. One of their fans even had an old-fashioned rattle! Not that it affected me, as I was positioned pitch side again. After some respite for the Sunderland game before Christmas, the last two games have seen me pitch side, a place I'd rather not be, mainly because you get to see very little of the game. For this game, I saw Lee Tomlin poke home the first Posh goal and had a grandstand view of Grant McCann's penalty, in my position directly behind the goal.

 

From what I saw, Peterborough weren't a bad side, which shouldn't have come as a surprise considering their top six position in League One. Clearly, the club's board don't share my feelings, as manager Gary Johnson was sacked a couple of days after this game, to be replaced by former boss Darren Ferguson.

As for Fulham, this win was a welcome bit of shooting practice that, hopefully, they can take into their upcoming Premier League games as they aim to notch up a few wins in their fight for survival.

 

The fourth round draw paired Fulham with Tottenham at home, to be played on Sunday 30th January, at 4:30 p.m. to suit ESPN's live coverage.